MARCH 3, 2009

       Our reputation keeps getting better and better. Oh, Manitoba. I feel sorry for thee.

       Let’s recap: we have freezing winters, mosquitoes the size of fists, notorious gruesome murders (bus beheadings with cannibalism, and also defilings with body parts stacked nicely in bathtubs).

       So once again, the world’s eyes are on Manitoba. This time for the trial of the Greyhound killer, as he’s been dubbed. People around the globe are wondering what the hell goes on in this province.

       It’s true, the past couple years have seen several scandalous stories involving headlines about the murder capital of Canada, car theft capital of Canada, and there’s little we can do or say to defend the province. The facts are the facts, right?

       I’ve tried. Trust me, I’ve tried to justify why I live in Manitoba when I have a friend in Vancouver on the beach while I’m huddled up against the furnace vent. What can I say? I was born here. I have no problems with the place. If I did, I’d move.

       Are there better places in the world? Probably. But what makes them better? Warmer temperatures? We get those temps in the summer, and more so than some of those other winter hotspots. So to me the variety in weather is nice.

       Is it safer to live elsewhere? Not necessarily. Randomness of crimes like car theft could happen to anyone. Maybe it would just be bad luck if it happened to me. In terms of being the victim of other crimes: I have no gang affiliations, I live a quiet life and I don’t go out looking for trouble. Life is good for me in Manitoba.

       Yes, I can be a victim without being a “bad” person, but again, it’s the randomness of it. It could happen anywhere. I’m not going to hide out in my home because I’m scared to face the world.

       For those people that complain about weather, crime rates, infrastructure: go somewhere else! If you’re proud and want to continue on the “friendly Manitoba” tradition, then I want to hear from you! I think it’s time we celebrate our province with some good ol’ word-of-mouth publicity and not some multimillion-dollar campaign that makes us an even bigger laughingstock.

       Did I forget to mention we’re still the Slurpee capital of the world? Why isn’t that making global headlines?