JUNE 12, 2013
The love tap gone wrong

Last week in this column I wrote about the sense of entitlement that celebrities have. Whether that is in day-to-day life or handling their dramatic legal affairs, the “celebrity card” often comes into play.

That might be Lindsay Lohan repeatedly not showing up to court or Justin Bieber’s pimped-out car speeding through his neighbourhood, the rich and famous often get away with things you or I would be locked up for – and I should say, locked up for a very, very long time.

I have never been to court. I have never been sued, I have never been in trouble with the law. But I do have enough sense to know I would be scared and intimidated, if not very butt-kissy to the judge – after all, my fate is in his or her hands.

Unfortunately for ex-football star Chad Johnson, he gave his male lawyer’s butt a love tap during a domestic abuse hearing and the judge didn’t find the affection funny. In fact, she threw out the deal both sides had reached and sentenced Johnson to 30 days in jail.

It was looking like Johnson would enjoy his freedom and even the judge said Johnson should be thankful he had such great legal representation. Moments later Johnson made the move which garnered laughter from those in the courtroom and it all came crashing down.

The judge said, "I don't know that you're taking this whole thing seriously. I just saw you slap your attorney on the backside. Is there something funny about this?"

Naturally some people are suggesting that rear-end patting is what football players do and Johnson was simply celebrating the way he would with his teammates. Again, it brings up that whole time-and-place argument.

Of course I got emails about the subject and people posed the question: had the lawyer been a female, what would have been the outcome of such a gesture? Or, would Johnson have ever tried such a move on the fairer sex?

Regardless of gender there should be a level of maturity and professionalism in a courtroom. I can see how Johnson thought he was in the clear since it looked like the case was wrapping up, but perhaps he’ll have some time to think about his actions before meeting a judge in any future legal matters.

All in all, maybe Johnson’s attention to rears will make him popular in the slammer.
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