DECEMBER 13, 2006

       This time of year the messages of togetherness and love pretty much blast you in the face.  Whether or not you celebrate or even recognize the holiday season it can be pretty tough to avoid hearing about it over and over again.

       But what about the people who are going through a rough time in life?  It can be difficult to stay positive and optimistic when there’s a constant reminder of other people’s joyous festivities.

       I had a conversation with one of my colleagues who told me that in some provinces bars are open 365 days a year and Christmas is one of the most depressing days.  The establishments avoid playing Christmas music and it’s much like the show “Cheers” where people go to escape the reality of what’s happening in the world.

       On my radio show I made the stupid mistake – and I personally feel bad about doing it – but I asked listeners to write in and tell me about their best or worst Christmas ever.  We’ve done this before about birthdays or embarrassing moments and it’s always been light-hearted and we can laugh about them now.  For the most part when people share a story it’s in a humorous manner and I finish reading it with a smile on my face.  One thing I didn’t think about is the people who can’t turn a situation around and find the positives in it.

       A man wrote in and said, “My bad experience with Christmas is that I'm alone because my wife just left me.  So I will be happy when these holidays are over.”

       I don’t normally get responses like that from listeners so I paused for a moment, not knowing what to write back.  Obviously I’m not going to share that story with the rest of the world, but it made me think about what you tell a person who’s down and depressed this time of year. Cliché responses like, “Be thankful for your health”, would probably make a person feel worse.  So what can I tell this poor guy?

       My response was: “I’m sorry to hear about your tough times, but why not go and do something for yourself this Christmas?  Do something wild that you’ve always wanted to do but never have.  Or go somewhere you’ve always wanted to see.  At least this year the holidays will be memorable for a good reason instead of the bad.”

       Did it work?  Well, it’s hard to say.  I didn’t hear back from him.  But I felt better because instead of telling a person how they should feel, I at least offered a different way to view the holidays this year and gave suggestions to take his mind off of sitting and being depressed.

       I’m not really one for giving advice, but that’s my suggestion to the people who may not feel like their holiday season is the brightest this year.  And I find the old adage is true – there’s nothing like giving to make you feel good.  Helping make it a special holiday for someone else can certainly give you that warm feeling inside.