NOVEMBER 29, 2006

       There’s the old saying, “things aren’t always as they appear”.  We’ve all experienced that.

       When’s the last time your burger at McDonald’s looked so tender and juicy like the one on the commercial?  Or how about those infomercials for toning your body and how it can magically happen in three workout sessions?

       I’ve noticed the same thing lately when it comes to bills.  Everything seems to come with a service charge now.  Some businesses call it a “convenience fee”.

       And we all know that when we see a price tag that says $5.99, the total cost will be more than that because of taxes.  That’s fine.  There’s no getting around taxes, I know that much.  But what about all these little hidden charges?  You know the ones – the ones we don’t know about until we’re charged them.

       For instance I got my cellphone bill last month and out fell an advertisement for a “FREE ring tune”.  (The word free is in all caps on the flyer.)  All you had to do to get it is send a text message to the phone company.  That’s all fine and dandy and many people would jump at the opportunity.  But inexperienced cellphone users won’t realize that, yes, while this ring tune is free the text message you’re sending isn’t.

       But wait, there’s more!  You send the text message and you then get a reply saying you have a new e-mail message.  The e-mail will instruct you how to download the tune.  However, to retrieve the e-mail you must type the word “read” and reply, thus, sending another text message!

       Just when you thought it was over-  your phone also has to connect to the Internet to download this “free” musical diddy you were so happy about five minutes ago.  You guessed it – the Internet isn’t free.  When the phone transfers information via the Internet you pay for it.

       Usually I’m the skeptic and always look for the fine print in an ad and read that first before checking out the entire offer, but this cellphone one didn’t have any.  It’s your bill that comes weeks later that informs you of the charges after the fact.

       Here I sit with my $2 free ring tune of a crappy computerized version of “Jingle Bells”.