POLITICAL FUNNIES
Parliament needs repair
The steps at the Parliament Hill building needed some repairs so bids are taken from contractors from across the country.
First a contractor from Toronto looks it over. After a session of measuring and figuring he presents his bid.
I can do it for $19,000, he says. I'd need $9,000 for materials, $9,000 for my crew, and $1,000 profit for me.
Next, a contractor from Calgary does his measuring and calculating then says, I'll do it for $17,000. $8,000 for materials, $8,000 for my crew, and $1,000 profit for me.
Last a Liberal-friendly advertising firm from Montreal steps up. Without even looking at the job site he says, I'll do it for $57,000.
Surprised at how high it is, the man taking the bids asks him to explain it.
It's simple, he says. $20,000 for me, $20,000 for you, and we hire the guy from Calgary.
-Submitted by David F., Winnipeg
Oil Shortage
A lot of folks can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in Canada. Well, there's a very simple answer.
Nobody bothered to check the oil. We just didn't know we were getting low.
The reason for that is purely geographical.
Our OIL is located in Alberta, Newfoundland, Saskatchewan, and B.C.
Our DIPSTICKS are located in Ottawa, ONTARIO.