SpeakFree-  Well, Mr. Jeremy Bradley, this is an interesting turn of events, isn't it?  You are the one in the hot seat for a SpeakFree interview.

Jeremy Bradley-  Yes, it kind of is.  Also because you are wearing my pants.

SF-  Yeah, how can you breathe in these?

JB-  I don't, actually.  That's why everybody tells me I have such a fat face.

SF-  But you look very relaxed all the time.

JB-  Again, faces can be deceiving.

SF-  Do you have a stressful life?

JB-  Not really.  And for the record, I am at the appropriate weight for my age and height, just so we're clear.

SF-  I noticed an awful lot of bacon in the fridge here.

JB- Surprisingly that was a present.  I know, I have strange people in my life.

SF-  Do you really like bacon that much?

JB-  Let's call it a comfort food.

SF-  So you DO have a stressful life?

JB- No, but it's something I enjoy.  I'm not eating bacon every day but I enjoy it in a caesar salad or on pizza or on a chicken burger - stuff like that.  The odd time I will just have bacon on its own.  But it certainly isn't a meal for me.

SF-  There are also several coffee mugs everywhere.  Do you have a caffeine obsession?

JB-  Surprisingly I've never ever tasted coffee in my entire life.  I've never had one of those double-double-ruffle-truffle-something-or-other fancy drinks.  I've never had even a sip of coffee.  I usually drink water or juice out of them.  It's strange, I know.  But then we know we're dealing with one strange kitten here!

SF-  Speaking of kittens, I understand you have this hatred for cats.

JB-  It's not so much a hatred for felines, but what I don't like is that they have this attitude that they strut around and think they're the best.  And many owners feed into that ego trip by allowing them to run all over the place and do whatever the hell they want.  So maybe it's just more of a hatred for cat owners.

SF-  You wrote a column about something like that before.

JB-  I did.  It was one of the very first commentaries I had ever written.  It was about a neighbourhood cat that wandered anywhere and everywhere.

SF-  Is it still a problem?

JB-  (laughing)  Well, funny that you ask that.  My neighbour (who owned the cat) had said that I don't have to worry about his cat anymore.  I asked why and he said it was found flattened on the next street over.  So, secretly I was happy but also felt bad because his cat died.  It just goes back to my original point that cats should stay inside.  And I think most people don't know that it is illegal to have your cat wandering onto other people's property.

SF-  Where's Bob Barker when you need him?

JB- Hey, Bob is great.  But he should change his message to, "Keep your damn cats inside, folks!"  That might be a little more effective than just telling people to get them fixed.

SF-  So do you not like animals?

JB-  No, no, no… it's not that at all.  I am a huge animal lover.  I had a dog for 18 years.  I just think that there are certain responsibilities that people don't think of when owning a pet.  Cleaning up after them is another example.

SF-  You wrote a column about something like that, right?

JB-  Um… well… I, uh… no, I don't think I did!  (laughing)

SF-  About the smell from dog poop in your neighbour's yard.

JB-  Oh, OK.  That wasn't a column, that was a bit from the radio show.  But yeah, the neighbour also laughs about his yard being like a junkyard but he doesn't really do anything about it.

SF-  You offered up a suggestion on the radio show too.

JB-  (laughing)  Yes, I did.  I feel like we should have my neighbour here so he can defend himself.  But on the show I suggested that when he is barbecuing one day to replace the meat on his grill with dog poop wrapped in tin foil and he would end up cooking it and taking it in to serve the family.  That we he may get a "taste" of his own medicine!  (snickering)

SF-  Evil… just evil.

JB- It's all part of the charm.