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SpeakFree Series
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The Bullying Debate Part 3
May 2005
'Bullies aren't happy people', former bully says
Some [readers of the SpeakFree site] said to remove all the weapons and possible weapons from the house if you have someone in the family who is suicidal. What are you going to do without: Table knives? Shoelaces? Cotton balls? Prescription medicines? Over-the-counter medicines? Sheets? T-shirts? The list goes on and on of what someone who was suicidal has used. Even on 24-hour suicide watch in hospital people who are desperate and determined can find something to use. That isn't the problem. Although I'm not saying you should leave sharp knives where a child can reach them or loaded guns anywhere. I'm a former NRA member who is for gun control.
But I'm getting off topic. The issue isn't access to weapons. The issue is respecting other people and treating them like human beings and not as scapegoats for our self-hatred or as experiments for our mind-games. As both a victim of bullying and a former bully, I can say that bullies are not happy people. Bullies, whether on the playground or at the head of a corporation or a country, are cowards who are so afraid of themselves and others that they strike first rather than take a chance on someone hurting them or seeing how unsure of themselves they are.
-Pat. Columbia, Maryland
FEATURED STORY THIS WEEK:
Of course the weak get picked on, bully says
In the story that JB wrote I think he is right to say that parents have more influence than most people think when it comes to raising a kid. If the parent doesn’t teach the kid to stick up for themselves or fight back (not physically, but by doing something – anything) then of course they are going to get picked on. You see on TV shows all the time that bullies keep on harassing kids when they know it really bothers [the victim]. The second [the bully] knows it isn’t a problem, they stop doing it. So if you act like something really bothers you, that is total ammo for someone like me who’s going to take advantage of that and try get under your skin for the fun of it.
If a kid in my class gets embarrassed easily or shows signs of being a wimp, that is a total call for people to take advantage of that and have some fun with it. Whether there is a teacher around or not, it’s still going to happen on the playground, walking home, on the bus, wherever. You have to know how to defend yourself.
School is the place that prepares kids for the real world. The real world isn’t full or daisies and sunshine. People treat you bad no matter where you are. It takes a strong person to overcome [expletive] and get beyond that. If a kid can’t handle some teasing or criticism, good luck working as a waiter in a restaurant, or selling anything in retail. People pick on others all the time. A lot of the time people in those jobs aren’t even the person at fault for the problem but they still have to take the heat for it. How are they going to deal with that? Run to the manager crying or go hang themselves in the freezer?
It’s a matter of how you handle yourself and deal with feelings. “Only the strong survive” is a phrase I heard a lot growing up. I’m a strong person and don’t let that kind of stuff get to me. I never use violence and never have. I’ve never been in a [physical] fight because I stick up for myself and people don’t bother me anymore.
But just because I do something like call someone names doesn’t give someone the right to come into school and shoot up [with a gun] the principal, other kids, or anyone else there. That’s crossing the line. I might be a bully but I am not physically harming someone with weapons. The tables are turning when the “victim” pulls out a gun, becoming a bully, and blasts others away.
Teasing and making fun of people is something that all of us do. The parents who are sitting here crying about kids being bullied, I’m sure did their fair share of it when they were younger and now that they are older realize that it is wrong. How many of you [parents] watch sitcoms and laugh at others being made fun of? Saying that, you were part of it when you were younger, and your kids are now – you dealt with it and are still alive, it’s not my problem your kids can’t handle it.
If a person is old enough to make a decision that they want to end their life and commit suicide, they should be old enough to know right from wrong. If they want to make a cowardly decision about something like that, go for it. At the same time, you should have taught them to talk to you and be open about things and should have taught them how to stick up for themselves. Don’t blame me that you raised an emotional[ly] unstable child.
-Jordan. Cleveland, Ohio
PART THREE INCLUDES
-a bully speaks out and explains why he says he has the right to torment his classmates
-reaction to Part Two’s Featured Story
-readers continue to rant in another SpeakFree-for-all
Things are still heating up with Part 3 of our series. There is still a lot more in store for you this week so let’s get to it! As well, you will see something that got left on the editing room floor last week. More from the edited Editorial Note from last week that some thought was “too hot to post” but have since had a change of heart. Also, we continue on with reader responses to the issue of bullying as well as comments toward our series on SpeakFree. Thanks for stopping by.
